Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Help with my novel? Murder scene?

Honestly...I think the dialogue might be a bit too much. Keep it in the guys imagination...that way you can build up the suspense more. And when he says "The poor girl"...well it gets confused, as if he has some sympathy for her. The actual murder part is very good and detailed. I think you could bring the reader in more by writing a bit about what he is thinking...images in his head, memories, fury...

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